Marry Me Young

Hello My Beautiful People,

How are you doing on this windy spring afternoon? My day started great cause we went running with my friend and it always charges me up with energy, I get motivated and as I’ve already told you a thousand times: I love sweating.

Anyways, I’ve been contemplating wether to write this article or not because in fact, it’s an extremely personal topic that I have quite a strong opinion and standpoint about. Let’s go through some of the things you guys need to know about me before I start getting into the heavy stuff.

First of all, I’m 22 years old and I’m getting married this September (I really want to do a wedding series on the blog and on my Youtube channel so that’s also why I decided to share with you my thoughts on the topic). I almost hear you say “wow that’s young”. I have a boyfriend-or excuse me-fiancé who I adore. We met in 2010 when I got to sing in a tribute band where he played as a keyboardist and back vocalist. I won’t over exaggerate if I say that it was love at first sight, love at first touch. I knew we have something to do with each other the moment we shook hands. I consider myself really lucky for being able to feel in place, content and for I’m not in a situation that’d make me feel hopeless, discouraged or worse: where I couldn’t feel appreciated. Basically, everything I could possibly need is given to me by this beautiful person and I guess I’m able to give him everything he needs in order to be happy and in order to not feel the need to step outside our little bubble. I guess these emotions, the mutual trust, respect and acceptance of taking responsibility are the aspects that create the safety net of that bubble. Naturally, this is not to say that our relationship is without any struggle but it’s safe to say that these are struggles of everyday life and never debates that question wether it is right for us to be together or not, wether we want to live our whole lives together or not. If we questioned ourselves every time we get into a fight about music or a movie or the way we drive the car it’d mean we’re not at the right place.

To be completely honest with you, I’m not even sure anymore if being in the right place is a priority. I know many people think that getting married at the age of 22 is extremely irresponsible. “You didn’t even live. How many guys did you date? Are you sure you’re making the right decision? Are you really aware what kind of commitment you’re about to make?” -they ask. This is what I think: why would I feel obligated to even answer questions that only society thinks are necessary to ask? I mean, just because most people get married in their late twenties or thirties, doesn’t mean that I’m making a mistake. I find it extremely unfair that I almost have to feel embarrassed because I do something a little bit out of ordinary or something that doesn’t necessarily fits into the norms of the modern, western society. I’m in love. We want to take our relationship to the next level. We find the establishment of marriage a beautiful thing that reflects the strength of an ever changing and developing bond between to people that should be honoured and nurtured. I don’t give a flying f-word if more than 50% of marriages result in a divorce. Why would I think of divorce before even getting married? Is this what being responsible means? The only way to become a responsible adult in the eyes of society is through doubting and second guessing my feelings? Thanks, but no thanks.

I know that marriage in general is something that completely splits people. There are those who really feel like it means something special and that it has relevance, there are those who only see it as piece of paper, a necessity and there are those who don’t find it important in any ways. I fall into the first group. As I already mentioned above, marriage takes things to the next level. For me it’s not just a financial union-although, making heavier decisions about handling money is definitely a more difficult thing for couples because it involves compromise, making sacrifices but it also helps the two participant’s personality grow and helps them become a team. The symbolic ceremony itself is definitely a gesture that shows the sacredness of the relationship and its an open acknowledgement of being together, starting a family together as partners, lovers and friends. It’s a commitment of putting each other first and choosing that one person exclusively. Which means, you have a person to flatter for a lifetime. Flatter him with your wittiness, beauty, empathy, focus, care and unconditional love. Finding a man that thinks this way is extremely difficult but this proposition is reversible. People tend to set up so many conditions concerning material aspects that the wrong things get into the spotlight like career, money problems, creating the best possible background for having children and so on. These are absolutely important but can’t be compared to the emotional levels. With FEELING THE RIGHT THING.

I have friends-who I love so so much-that have a hard time finding a partner. Sometimes it’s just bad luck, life gets in the way. But it seems like no one’s good enough, anyways. And after a while I just can’t help but wonder: can you really be that selfless, can you possibly break down your emotional burdens enough to let that person flatter you or are you just crossing items on a list and go according to your bullet points? It’s true to men and women equally. I see them suffering, I saw them going through horrible disappointments, breakups and people can be cruel for sure but materialising love doesn’t work even after falling off the wagon. Being afraid of emotional involvement prevents deep relationships and if we can’t go beyond the surface the whole deal is sentenced to death from day one.

I don’t want this post to be too too long but I felt like it’s something I should cover, because I want other girls to know that having 20 boyfriends before getting married is not an obligation. That so called “experimenting” phase is optional and finding that special someone can happen without partying, dating and purposely disappointing yourself to death, just because society created unrealistic norms.

I’m sorry if I seem a little too harsh. No offence to anyone, I absolutely respect other people’s opinion. I just really needed to get this out because I want people to know that I’m not getting married out of immaturity but because WE WANT TO and because it’s time to take a step forward and create the best versions of ourselves TOGETHER. 🙂

Have a great evening guys!

Talk to you next Wednesday.

Love and hugs,

fatimapanka

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